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December 28th, 2006

07:12 am - Tomorrow's Friday!!!!
and thank goodness, because i'm passing out at my desk. 

We need to clean up the house, dispose of the tree, start pulling down decorations.... that may not happen til next week. I figure I'll start saying it now, though, to help the process along. 
I have a hair appointment tomorrow eve. Hooray! I guess Pat wants a guys' night with Chet tomorrow, so I guess I'm single after my hair appointment. I could get the girls together for drinks somehwere, or I could start some of that cleaning and gleefully fall asleep at 9pm. Hm. Choices. 

Oh! Exciting news! I re-applied to Chemeketa because I'm signing up for two non-credit courses: Landscape Design Principles, and Spring Gardening. I'm really excited about it!And Ames might take em with me! 

Chet's going to be gone in a couple weeks for 4 days. It'll be the first time I've been home alone since.... well, probably since Amy went to Hawaii. 

I have an initial psych eval on the 10th. 

I'm starting back at the gym next week, since the weird holiday scheduling will be over.
Current Mood: groggygroggy
Current Music: KT Tunstall

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December 27th, 2006

07:08 am - Uh.
So.... I think  Christmas is over. I mean, I supposedly had a 4 day holiday, and I'm back at work, so I guess it's over. That was..... crazy. 
The bridal shower as great. A little overwhelming, but fun! 
Dinner with the two sets of parents on the 23rd went well. 
We were at my parents' house Christmas eve, and that was nice. 
We went to Dana's at 11 on Christmas day. That was a long day. 
We fixed Dana's broken couch yesterday, then did some shopping. 
And now I'm back at work. 
There was lots of housecleaning, food preparing, gift wrapping, family.......

My head is spinning and I'm exhausted. Yeesh.
I got the Tignanello purse I asked for, the diamond necklace I fell in love with, and the iPod I desperately wanted for work and the gym. Hooray! 
It was a really really nice Christmas, I just wish there'd been a little down time to enjoy everything going on around us.
Current Mood: sleepysleepy
Current Music: Indigo Girls

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December 21st, 2006

07:05 am - hmmm

amy told me last night that she's sick. she had a fever and sore throat. Poor Ames!!!
i woke up this morning with fever, chills, sore throat, ear ache. Now, in recent years, I've always blamed Amy. After all, she's the one who works on naked people, and she was sniffly and sick more frequently than I was. But she's not living with me. I don't think I can blame her for illness via tm..... darn.

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December 20th, 2006

07:34 am
My bridal shower is in 3 days. That's weird. 
It's a very exciting event, but I have nothing to compare it to, so I don't have a great deal of emotion toward it. Probably the depression plays a role in this lack of feeling. I know I'm looking forward to the bridal shower. I know I'm going to really enjoy it. I just kinda wish I felt more excitement. Same with the wedding, really. 

Several years ago, when I was suffering from my first serious bout of depression, I went on Paxil for about a year. It helped me gain control of my emotional state enough to process everything I felt and experienced, and allowed me to start putting pieces back together. 

That's kind of how I'm currently feeling... like the last time. I don't really want to talk about anything because I'm not emotionally stable enough right now. So the first item to address is that stability. I've put in a couple phone calls, waiting for the calls to be returned. 

TIme to work.
Current Mood: blankeh

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December 19th, 2006

07:04 am - yeesh

ok, i admit it, i'm seriously depressed. for a multitude of reasons. 
anyhoo... the most immediate: Chet asked me last night what makes me happiest. This morning in the shower, the answer suddenly came to me -- working in the yard. I like yard work and gardening. I feel so productive, no matter what task it is, and I feel incredibly centered and grounded. All seems right in my world when I'm working in the yard. Only problem is, I'm really not that good at it. 
Talking with Chet in the car this morning, we decided to look for evening and online horticulture classes, weekend horticulture workshops through the community college so I can grow in the area that makes me happiest. 
The rest of the issues can wait til next week. It's almost Christmas, after all.

Current Mood: okayokay

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December 18th, 2006

12:32 pm - so...
I'd like to look into different jobs at the hospital. I'd like to look into victims' advocacy. Perhaps something horticulture-related. I can't use my degree for research because a) i don't have my master's, and b) i can't do that to animals or be associated with a group who does animal research. 
This won't be a fast transition, because I first have to figure out what I want to do. I then need to figure out how Chet and I will do on a tighter budget. There's a lot to consider. But I do know I'm not happy with what I'm doing. I really like the people, the pay is pretty good, the benefits are awesome..... all really important things that I'm talking about sacrificing. But there's no job satisfaction. 
I just wish a light would turn on and I could say, "Omigosh! That's what I want to do!"
Current Mood: complacentlittle down

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09:23 am - Discovering ME

I need something rewarding, fulfilling, something that makes a difference, be it people or plant related. Paint is not it. I don't want to wake up depressed every morning, feeling like I waste 8 hours of my life 5 days a week. Time to begin looking, and really thinking about this.

Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative

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07:07 am - Chasing Christmas
Christmas is in one week. Nothing is wrapped (except Chet's presents, cuz he was gone one night). We haven't even finished shopping. Our holiday agenda? 
21: Dinner and Christmas lights with my grandmother
22: My bridal shower
23: Dinner with both sets of parents to update wedding stuff
24: My parents' house, for Christmas Eve and my mom's birthday
25: Dana's for Lundy Christmas
26: Victoria to mall for birthday ear piercings

So this leaves tonight to go through gifts and begin wrapping, and tuesday and wednesday to finish shopping AND wrapping. yeesh. Once the shopping is finished, wrapping is fun. I just don't like the stress of the shopping deadline. 
Current Mood: sleepysleepy

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December 14th, 2006

06:59 am - Christmas is coming.....
and Whitney's getting fat....

ok, probably not. I still fit perfectly fine in all my clothes. Just feeling fat. Chet forgot to call invitation lady, so we got to her shop after work and she was closed. we're gonna have to do it today. and AtoZ rental today. The people at AtoZ said we're fine til end of January, but we're not relying on that -- it's the first day of spring break, for goodness' sake. I already saw what happened with the florists, I'm not risking that on anything else.
We decorated the tree last night!! It has more than popcorn! Because of Ophelia, we have an entirely non-breakable tree. Chet was kinda mushy because it's our first tree together. I thought that was cute. It's also my first non-Amy tree, and I'm still not sure what I think about that.
Decorating is almost finished in the rest of the house. I'm going pretty light this year. All the candles melted this summer. This has never happened before, and this past summer wasn't insanely hot, and the candles were all in rubbermaid containers, but they allllllll melted. After adjusting to that loss, I watched Ophelia lose control of a slide and crash into 4 pillar holders I bought last year. So those went in the garbage as well. Not the best omens to kick off the season.
We still have no lights up outside. Sigh.
Current Mood: lethargicnot sure

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December 13th, 2006

11:26 am

You Are a Tree

You love every part of the holidays, down to the candy canes and stockings. And you're goofy enough to put a Christmas tree ornament on your tree!

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